A meteor as large as Texas is hurling towards the earth; it will end all life on the planet. Jason is a member of a group that has taken shelter in an old mine shaft deep underground.

Just before Jason was incinerated he was heard saying, "That girl in the corner is hot."

I'm sorry Jason, but the shelter just wasn't deep enough.

How do I know all this to be true? Well, it's my story...


Serp.

And Morlocks

....and mind flayers............they can give you a bad headache when they tear out your brain with their tentacles..........

"tentacles"

Oh, no, you said a bad word. You can't use the name of real body parts on a religious board.  You need to offer a euphemism for tentacles. How about sticky appendages?

Serp.

Not quite “religious humor”, but I think this link is fitting to the ongoing recent discussions taking place here.  Enjoy.

http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=teMlv3ripSM

"If you have a few hundred followers, and you let some of them molest children, they call you a cult leader. If you have a billion, they call you 'Pope.' It's like, if you can't pay your mortgage, you're a deadbeat. But if you can't pay a million mortgages, you're Bear Stearns and we bail you out. And that is who the Catholic Church is: the Bear Stearns of organized pedophilia -- too big, too fat."

Bill Maher